Wednesday, March 28, 2012

well...and then just like that...


...it's Wednesday. Really? It never ceases to amaze me how fast the time is flying by...

I've been thinking about so many things lately...life, anxiety, depression, medication, school, work, money, family, death, dying. I gotta say, when Papa went to heaven it really shook me. Losing Papa was such a finalization...it was the end of an era for my family...all of the grandparent's are now gone. And it is so completely unbelievable to me. And it brings to the forefront some realities that I wasn't ready for...like the fact that we all die, one day. I mean, duh. I know this. But to know it and to know.it are two different things.

I know...kinda deep. And I'm doing a terrible job sharing my thoughts about it all. You are getting fragments...because that's how it all is in my brain...fragmented. Like nothing is flowing smoothly in my head...just a jumble of different thoughts that I can't really even properly formulate because I'm so busy living life and getting through each day that I haven't made time to really think anything through.

And before anyone worries...I am good. I am fine. I am powering through all of this and relying on God to help me with every bit of it. Yes...it all makes me have some anxiety. I'm not gonna lie. And for a minute my mind tried to jump into the pit of depression.

But...I fought it...with God and prayer and reading scripture. And I am continuing to fight it...and I will win. But like I wrote to a friend (I've been praying for you today, my friend)...sometimes the battle is just a little tougher to fight. But I am always victorious...every single time. Sometimes it just takes longer to get past it than others. And that's OK.

So on that note...here's one of my favorite scriptures for you...it pulls me out every time...

Isaiah 43:1-3


1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

2 comments:

You Can Call Me Jane said...

Amen and amen. Thinking about you, friend....

christina said...

i love the words that you shared here. and i appreciate all the love you have shown me.
i will reread this often.
xo